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Apologies and other hubbabaloo

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 18, 2010, 10:33 AM

I don’t usually make what I’m going through a public thing, and I’m not looking for sympathy either- I’m posting this because I know some people are wondering why the absence?

The truth shall be shared as best as I can say, but text has never been on my side in displaying my emotions
But I hope that this is a good summary:
I’m sorry.

To everyone, to everyone I’ve hurt or made feel insignificant; to everyone I’ve avoided and dispatched, and to my behavior in the past and my behavior as of late. I am- as a whole- Sorry.
There are no excuses for my actions and how I’ve treated even people I care about; and not only that but my obnoxious and reclusive behavior to even those I do not know. It is absolutely uncalled for and I apologize profusely for that too.

And while I suffer from crippling depression, it is no excuse to act like a child, to get upset over minimal details, to act less than my age and less than my person. Especially when bringing up the same issues over and over and over- constant complaining ISN’T who I am and isn’t who I WANT to be.  

I can’t say I’ll be too active on here, but I wanted to let those who know me, or have been curious: that I appreciate your sentiments.

I’ve got some work to do, some problems to work out, I’ve got a long journey ahead of me, a large amount of spiritual and emotional growth.

And for those who are curious and want to see some updates and such I suggest going to my:

Also, an important note: please; if you are able, donate to Goregoat she’s in need of help for hospital expenses and other things as well. I’d strongly appreciate any aid you were to give her.

Thanks in advance everyone, I hope your holiday season has been going well and that it continues to do so.

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Val4s-san Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*huggles* ^^
Kydoon Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You bear a heavy burden, Kendra, but you're showing even greater strength. You may not act the part intentionally, but one thing I've always picked up from you is that you're a very strong individual at heart. Know, however, that even with great strength, you can certainly allow us to lend a hand. A good deal of a person's inner stamina stems from those around them. Consider me a willing contributor to the cause of you. :hug:
AgentC-24 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Good luck with your future endeavors, pal. :highfive: I know you can do it either way! :)
DRei-chan Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Depression sucks so much, it really does. D: I have it, so I know it's a pain to have to go through.

I wish you the best with everything.
Daiacos Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010
I really only wish you the best on your journey.
Merry Holidays too! C8
AletPhantom Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Student Artisan Crafter
You've got a lot of integrity and strength just for posting this. I hope you know that. <3
amon-ra-chibi Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I do hope you start to feel better, depression is a difficult thing to work with, especially if you're too hard on yourself about the little things. No one expects you to spend all of your time talking with them if they're reasonable, you're a human being and need time for your own life an pursuits.

I know we only ever met once, but if you ever need an ear to vent at I'll be here, okay?
Warlocked222 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Good luck, and feel better!
kurisquare Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010
Well, I'm not the best at giving words of advice and support, but I seriously hope you feel better. Sometimes it seems easier to just curl up and complain, but it's not the best move. It might be way more difficult, but if you want to stand up, you will. Whatever you're going through, I know you'll be strong and get through it. And remember, we all care about you :heart:
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dead-girl-13 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010
good luck :heart:
Dragongirlrachel Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't know if u get this a lot, but don't be to upset. You're only human and all humans, no matter how great or small, have problems. I for example am diagnosed ADD and life is very hard for me at the time. But look at it this way... If you put all your problems and worries into a pile of other peoples problems, you will most likely want your own problems rather that some other peoples. Try to look on the bright side of life. And if you ever need to talk about something, even though this will sound odd, I am like a human Diary and will listen and consider what u have to say. (Even though I do not know u that well.)
BTW Happy Holidays.
bezzalair Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010
you know what I hear helps get rid of depression? not pills, but a walk in an hour of SUNLIGHT.
too bad there's a big rain cloud over us, right? xD;;;

:hug: hope you get over this. would you like me to come over sometime and hang out? probably on a more sunny day? we could have a nice, LONG walk in the sun, full of EXERCISE. doesn't that sound fun? :la: LOL

anyway, til then, take care~!
PuppyAkamaru Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm sure we all forgive you, hun
walkyofmilwaukee Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010
...Need a virtual hug?
MU-Cheer-Girl Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Student Digital Artist
I hope you feel better. I've missed you so much around here, and I feel for you. I will be praying that you get these problems solved. :huggle:
loppi Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
I think that's very mature of you... locking yourself away to fester in your own bad thoughts isn't going to help you, and even when nothing else can help you feel better, other people will always be able to make the biggest impact on your mood! Good luck with dealing with your depression, not giving in to it is the most important part of recovery.
mangasuperlover Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010
well depression is hard to get out of. but it will all get better in the future. i hope you get out of your depression soon.
pirpintine Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i hope you get through it. i know how tough depression is to get through, i had it for years, so if you ever need to talk ill be about... i know we havnt spoke much in total, but i still class you as a friend, and ill always try to help my friends :heart:
noodlesqueen Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know there's nothing I can really say to make it all better, but still, I wish you the best. I hope that you can get through your depression intact ♥
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December 18, 2010


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